When Riley is:

Riley is fiercely independent and is never not saving her friends. She's their therapist, shoulder, financial help, cheerleader and it goes on. She is wonderful at being there for everyone else, but because of this, she is not great at being aware of what is going on with her own body. Riley has started to work on this, but I don't know where she will be when/ if she allows anyone to read this. Riley is extremely talented at pushing herself so hard that she is run into the ground. She has a few body cues that are easier for someone else to recognize than for her to see it. When she is called out for her body reacting, she will try to listen and do what is needed, but try is the keyword. You probably see already what she is capable of when it comes to ignoring her own needs in order to be there for others. 1-When Ri is randomly and easily brought to tears it is usually one of a few things: a-She isn't getting enough sleep b-She isn't eating enough

c-She is about to start her period (this usually is accompanied by random bouts of being irritated but not angry at the world and she is usually more restless around her period).

d-She is getting sick. This is a big one. Riley will become weepy and very sleepy but will not clue into what is going on. 24 hours after a random bout of the weepies, you will almost always see a fever appear and before you know it, you will recognize this without even trying. e-She is dealing with something that either she feels she can't talk to anyone about it or she just wants to work through it on her own.

2-Riley and PMS: She has gotten better at identifying her PMS but with her IUD and her periods not always being every month, sometimes she forgets. She will cry and say she feels "stabby" which is her way of saying she wants to stab everyone that annoys her. She really won't but it's just her way of verbalizing what she's feeling. She's very cautious about what she eats, but her period makes her crave one thing mainly, chocolate. So if she's teary and has been craving chocolate, she's about to be entering into what she refers to as shark week. She will get frustrated with how much energy she loses during this week as she does not like to slow down. Just make sure she has the good, expensive chocolate on hand, give her ideas to rest, and give her lots of hugs. 3-Getting Ri to rest: This is a hard one for her. She does not like to rest or slow down. I think it's because then she has to face a lot of hurt in her life that she avoids by being super busy all the time. She needs to rest though. The best trick is to convince her that you need the rest and want her to take care of you. It is not a perfect system, as she will nearly always still try to wait on you while you're relaxing, but between making sure you have food and liquids and anything else she thinks you need, she will rest. Pick out one of her favorite movies or shows to binge and most likely she will slow down enough to sleep, at least for an afternoon and if you're lucky into evening and night. Sometimes getting her to slow down is a good reset for her mind and body. She loves physical contact and the more you snuggle with her, the more she'll stay laying down or on the couch. Another trick is to take her for a long drive because she will always pass out.

4-Get to know the little things about Riley

Ri is by far the best at giving gifts. She has this way of learning about you without you even realizing it. She does it to everyone. She picks out very thoughtful gifts that make you smile every time you look at them or use them. She will get a gift for you and you will realize it's connected to some tiny detail that you mentioned months prior and forgot about. My sister and her husband are avid hunters and hikers and they lost their hunting/hiking dog one spring. Riley remembered them mentioning that they felt weird without Spud up in the mountains with them for their adventures. Riley found shotgun bullet-styled urns that are very tiny with some paw prints on them and got strong chains for them and gave them to my sister and brother-in-law for a "just because" gift. This way Spud's ashes could be with them always. They were shocked and happy because it was something they had only mentioned on their first hike without him. Riley listened and bought these right away. She's fantastic at this type of thing. The problem is that very few do the same for her and because her heart is so pure and kind, she gets hurt by other's lack of even thinking of her at all. So if you care about Riley, learn the little things, listen to what she is not saying. This will mean the most to her because it's not about the gifts, it's about knowing her. Even just renting a movie she mentioned wanting to see or automatically putting her favorite music on your playlist, or learning about things she doesn't talk about. Listen to her favorite songs the ones she has on repeat. They will tell you a lot about her and what she's feeling or going through.

5-Riley's Family and her identity: Riley doesn't have a lot of family. Her grandpa on her biological mother's side passed away in 2012 and it destroyed her. She is close to his second wife Fran as she was the only grandmother Ri has ever known. Her bio grandma passed away when she was a baby and her dad's mother was a drunk, and then a born-again Christian who didn't meet Ri until she was a teen and Riley is everything that woman viewed as evil. She passed away right before I met Ri. Her bio mother's family treats Fran poorly. But Riley loves Fran very much. If she introduces you to Fran, you have gained her trust. Please do not take this lightly. She doesn't speak to anyone else on her biological mother's side. She doesn't have a lot of family on her dad's side either. Her dad died when she was a kid and her closest link to her dad, his brother Mark passed away when she was a young teen. Riley's dad was not in the picture due to her biological mother. Mark took on the father role. Because of this and a meth-addicted mother which had its own set of issues, Riley has a lot of struggles with her identity. The best thing you can do is learn about her dad and her Uncle Mark and then reinforce how much like her father she is. She takes pride in being like him, so reminding her of this is the best thing for her.

6-Riley's Favorites: This is a list of her favorites or a cheat sheet for some things. The rest you need to learn on your own.

Movies: Moulin Rouge Beauty and the Beast Aladdin Lion King Lilo and Stitch The Losers Shows: Golden Girls Archer Scrubs

Dr. Who or whatever that is Riley also loves anything nostalgic. Find DVD's of Duck Tales and the like and she'll watch them. Her dog Belle ate them as a pup but I had found the Little Mermaid cartoon series on VHS and had it transferred to DVD. She loved it. You want her to rest, put on a favorite. She loves horror movies but doesn't like to be alone after them. This is another way to get her to rest.

Her favorite places: Leavenworth, Wa The ocean

Disneyland - I regret not taking her for a just her and I trip. On a plane going anywhere. On a road trip with anyone else driving. She likes her man to drive too. It makes her feel safe.

Music: Country from the 90s to now. She has a huge crush on Kenny Chesney. She also never misses a Seattle show as it's a tradition with her adopted mom Jennifer. She loves music from the '90s to mid-2000's Motown. India Arie

Backstreet Boys still to this day That Hawaiian guy that does covers and his own music